Monday, January 3, 2011

repeat after me: what doesn't kill us makes us stronger (right kids?)

A girl at work, let's call her Annie, is pregnant. She and her boyfriend have been living together for a few years. She came into work this morning showing off her beautiful new engagement ring -- he proposed on NYE -- and then at the end of the day told me she was pregnant. Holy shit! Spread out your good news, don't give it to me all at once!

No but seriously she is a great girl. I honestly can say I am happy for her and I know she'll be a good mom.

I also really respect the way she told me. She knows a vague tiny bit about my circumstances. She pulled me aside and told me first because she didn't want me to find out as part of the group. First she just looked at me like she had something to say and couldn't say it, but I knew what it was because I thought I had overheard a friend saying the word "sonogram" at her desk earlier. Then she told me and started crying.
I gave her a hug and we took a little walk.

I am not happy about the fact that I have to go into work every day for the next 8 months and witness her pregnancy as it runs its course. But I know that she will handle our awkward situation as tactfully and considerately as she can. And that will make the imminent sonograms, name discussions, boy/girl discoveries, office baby showers, etc much more bearable.

I was so desperate for the people at work to know that I CAN HANDLE THIS, that I made some crappy awkward comment that made my boss think for a moment that I was pregnant, too. So then I had to stand there and say no, I'm not pregnant. Goddamnit.

Annie said that she really admires me and A seeking treatment. She said she knows it must be hard. Apparently her future-sister-in-law has been trying for three years but won't go to the doctor to see what's wrong. I guess when Annie told her she was pregnant she wouldn't even look at her and she said something about how disgusted she is. TTC for 3 years is enough to make anyone callous and crazy, but seriously, go to the goddamn doctor.

So after work I cried to my husband, then I got pissed at him and hung up on him (because he told me to -- you guessed it -- BE POSITIVE!). Then I cried to my mom. Then I cried in the bathroom before yoga class. Then I cried a little at the end of yoga class. Then I got home and REALLY cried to A, and we made up.

Now I think I'm done crying.

Follie check tomorrow morning. Trigger shot???

6 comments:

Still A Guest Room said...

Sorry you will have to watch her, but at least she sounds like a nice person. Hope you appointment goes well tomorrow.

mystrandofpearls said...

pulling for you tomorrow.
that so sucks. i'm proud of you for not crying right there on the spot. i might have. i just spent hours on facebook stalking people (gotta love that) and saw more preggo announcements. DH is asleep and has to work super early and i still want to go in and whine to him.
i totally get where you're coming from. and wish we worked together. just saying.

Drevas said...

Proud of you for how you handled that announcement... I can't say I would have done as well. Hope you have a great follicle report!! :)

Denver Laura said...

Yeah, I just had one of my co-workers go out on leave. Then I got hit at the holidya party that she was invited to recently, even though she was out. And she brought the baby. To top it off, the entire hour she complained about the labor pains, the epi, yadda yadda. I didn't talk to her the entire time. I mentioned one time it we had been trying for 4 years and we're now fostering. The tension is there.

It definately helps when there is somebody who knows who can help you tactifully backout of the baby shower, conversations, etc.

GL on your appt. Don't worry about the other stuff.

Jem said...

Of course you cried, your body is full of hormones! I cry for NO reason at all.

Be good to yourself. You'll get there, too!

Alex said...

I'm so impressed with how you handled the announcement - this is tough, no matter what! And your friend sounds wonderful, or at least as much as a pregnant woman could be... :)