January: Naively thought I ovulated like a normal person my first month off the pill. My first ever BFN. Waiting for my period, but it’s late and not for the good reason.
February: Wondering what’s going on. No period for a long time now. OBGYN tells me to call back in April if no period.
March: Took a week off work and it was lovely. Spent a night in Chicago with my hubby. Tried not to think about my MIA period.
April: Still no period. OBGYN prescribes Provera. I am told it will regulate my cycles, so I pee on OPKs for 10 days until I get something that looks like a positive. Lots of S-E-X. Cycle lasts 45 days. Finally get an appt with OBGYN to see WTF is going on.
May: Diagnosed with PCOS. Upset but hopeful. OBGYN tells me that with the help of Metformin and clomid, I will be pregnant by Christmas. Took a trip to California, it was AWESOME.
June: A horrible month. Depressed, feeling isolated and hopeless. The Metformin makes me sick almost daily and is not regulating my cycles as promised. Looking around wildly for an infertility support group but can’t find one anywhere. Trying not to look as depressed as I feel as I attend three weddings and a family reunion. Have a little fun despite myself.
July: My birthday. Month two of Metformin, finally stopped feeling sick.
August: Month three of Metformin. Still no cycle. Our second wedding anniversary. Never thought on my wedding day I’d be childless on my second anniversary. Took a weekend trip to Chicago with a friend, had a great time.
September: Finally on to the next step since the Metformin did jack squat for me. 50 mg of clomid and a discouraging ultrasound when I found out that I didn’t respond. Was sad for a few days and then recovered. Was thrilled when AF arrived without Provera for the first time in 9 months!
October: Switched OBGYNs to Dr. Lovely. EXCELLENT idea. Start 100 mg of clomid with much more monitoring and general competence. First confirmed ovulation in 10 months. Finally get to do a trigger shot, timed intercourse, and progesterone suppositories.
November: BFN. Happy Thanksgiving. Next cycle cancelled due to cyst. Huge sperm scare. Hubby is depressed for two weeks before we find out we have nothing to worry about (hopefully).
December: Looking forward to a January 2011 IUI! Plans are in the works to start a RESOLVE.org Peer-Led Support Group in my area. I am amazed at how far I have come and how much better I have gotten at dealing with anxiety and disappointment. My marriage is stronger than it’s ever been. I did not get pregnant this year but I succeeded in many other ways. I am hoping that 2011 will be my year.