Update and Wicked

Hello everyone. I really appreciate the love, support and advice left in the comments on my last post. A and I are doing surprisingly well. In fact, I don’t know if we have ever felt closer or loved each other more than we do right now. This horrible situation is bringing us together, which I am thankful for. However, I do wish it could have been a stunning vacation or something more pleasant that could have done the trick.

This week is a long waiting game until Friday when we meet with the local urologist. I haven’t decided what to call him here because his real name is so hilarious it’s hard to top. I looked him up online and he looks handsome. It will be interesting to get men playing at this game, so far I have only dealt with women.

Although I would never have wished this on A, it’s a relief to know this appointment on Friday doesn’t hinge on me. Not that there’s ever anything I can do, logically, to control the outcome of my own bloodwork, sonograms, etc, but with issue being in someone else’s body, this is seriously out of my control.

I guess the worst news we could hear is that even IVF w/ICSI won’t work and that we had better start the grieving process for a biological child of our own and look into adoption. Somehow I don’t think it will be that simple though. I really don’t know what to expect.

In other news, this weekend I went to see Wicked and I picked up the book to read. I feel a special kinship with Elphaba. Not that I’m green (although you wouldn’t know, would you, never having seen a photo of me?). But I can relate to her in other ways. Misunderstood, always acting with the best intentions that seem to backfire, etc. I think if she were real we could be the best of friends. I especially like these lines she sings:

Ev'ry so often we long to steal
To the land of what-might-have-been
But that doesn't soften the ache we feel
When reality sets back in

Much love.