Today is Monday and it's the day I should be at yoga class. But I'm not.
I have gone to this yoga class every Monday since February and the only time I missed was for our anniversary. I made sure I told my teacher multiple times in advance that I would miss, because I didn't want to be a yoga slacker. Also because I adore my teacher and she's the sweetest thing ever.
But I spent all weekend with (literally) crippling constipation that has gotten a bit better but still has me alternately clutching my abdomen/weeping and running to the bathroom thinking I'm about to have explosive diarrhea (which I did on Friday, at Meijer. yay).
So today at work the idea of spending the evening at home being lazy and extremely close to a private bathroom at all times just seemed too delicious to pass up.
I blame my Metformin for the intestinal distress. For as long as I have been on it, I've swung back and forth between constipation and diarrhea. However, the constipation I suffered on Saturday was in a whole league of its own. I felt like there was a baseball in my gut and I could hardly bend at the waist.
So, Infertility: 1, my colon: 2
There has been another thing going on, and I'm wondering if I can blame on infertility and get away with it. And that is...RAGE. Pure rage of the kind you feel when you're a teenager and your parents exist. The kind of rage that you feel when your husband dares to touch you at the grocery store. RAGE.
While I am not currently taking clomid or BCP or any sort of hormones other than whateverthehellisinthe Metformin, I blame it on the whole infertility thing.
The conversations go a little like this:
A: What's wrong, sugar?
Lulu: I HATE YOU AND YOU SUCK AND I HATE MY LIFE.
A: Are you going to be okay?
Lulu: Yes, it's just that I can't cut my lemon bars and it's so devastating I might never recover. AH!
A: Can I do anything to help?
Lulu: STOP FUCKING TALKING TO ME I HATE YOU SO MUCH!
And on and on.
Can you blame a girl? My cousin just announced her pregnancy on facebook with a darling little video and I have really painful shit in my intestines.