decoding the symptoms

Last night my nipples were so sore that it hurt to lie down on my stomach in bed. Today I have some serious clear/white discharge going on *down there*. I also have painful rumblings in my abdomen which could either be menstrual cramps or just more of the same uncomfortable constipation I’ve had since Saturday (skipped class last night and still never went you-know-what, darnit).

So I sent A a super romantic email today:

I feel like there might be a miniscule chance I’m ovulating. We should go up stairs tonight just in case. Sound like a plan? : )

I know, I know - men and women all over the world are swooning at my seductive skills. Don’t you wish your girlfriend was infertile like me?

Today is CD24, which would mean a pretty late ovulation if that’s what this is. It could also be PMS (don’t forget on Sunday I had some serious hormones going on, including THE RAGE). If it’s PMS I’m going to take that as a good sign. If I actually have a non-Provera-induced-period, I’d have to think that’s a step forward.

I remember about a week before we were scheduled to start Provera for this cycle, I had similar symptoms. Sore nips and vague could-be-cramp feelings. I didn’t write it down, but now I’m guessing that was around September 9, maybe? And then I was surprised that my period came on Day 5 of Provera, which would have been 10 days after the symptoms. Is it possible these are ovulation signs? Or is that just being too hopeful?

I have some leftover OPKs at home and in a fit of optimism I took one on CD 13 or 14. It was negative, although the line was *almost* as dark as the control. The next day I took another one and there were two lines; however, I had thrown out the box this brand came in and didn’t know which window was the control…haha! I’m a pretty terrible infertile.

I had to stop by the drugstore over my lunch break (and by had to, I mean I needed candy), and I debated all the way there about whether or not I should buy some more OPKs. I decided not to. There’s a risk of a false positive due to the PCOS anyway, so no use getting my hopes up. Plus, if I am ovulating now, I should have taken the test on Sunday or Monday.

I did break down and buy some HPTs. Sigh. What a terrible weakening of willpower that was. These odd symptoms aside, this Saturday is CD28, which would be a great time to test if indeed this had been a normal 28 day cycle. (Oh! That’s funny!) So I thought maybe I should have some HPTs at home – plus, I’m supposed to call the doctor next Friday (CD 34) with the results of a HPT, so I’ll definitely need one then. If it’s positive (I’m crying, I’m laughing so hard!) then I’ll get prenatals and such, if it’s negative, I’ll get more Provera and get to start this clomid business over again with 100 mg.