8w6d

Tomorrow I’ll be 9 weeks pregnant, and I know you’re all wondering how I am. The answer is: bloated, queasy, and happy.

I am bloated. I do not have the nerve to say “I’m showing”, and I don’t have a baby bump. But my pants, which in early September were sagging off of me because of the 10 pounds I lost earlier this year, are a struggle to button. Jeans are very uncomfortable. This increased bloat is only around the midsection (not face, butt, thighs, etc) and is probably a combination of 1) IVF drugs 2) large ovaries post-retrieval 3) 7 weeks on prometrium 4) a drastic decrease in my activity level and 5) all of the potato chips I’ve been eating.

I am queasy. I feel nauseous a lot, but I haven’t thrown up and for that I feel very thankful. I did dry heave this morning, and probably would have thrown up had I eaten breakfast at that point. I’m very stereotypical – sensitive to smells and anything that looks gross (dishes sitting in the sink, dog puke, meals covered in brown gravy – all of which I was exposed to on Saturday alone - yuck).

While being nauseous isn’t exactly fun, it’s such a relief to feel pregnant. I’ll take it.

I am happy. I still have occasional moment of feeling “not pregnant enough”, I still squeeze my nipples a few times a day to ensure they’re sore (my breasts aren’t sore, just the nips, although my breasts feel very heavy and pendulous). I still sometimes feel terrified when I say things like “But I’ll be on maternity leave when that project rolls out” because do I really deserve this? Should I really take it for granted that this baby will be born healthy?

But 90% of the time I’m just happy. I’m a pregnant woman. I never thought I’d get here and it makes me smile just to think about it.

I have a 10 week ultrasound next Monday (at 9w6d). I can’t wait to see the baby again. : )