Tuesday, October 25, 2011

8 weeks - I'm a real, live pregnant lady.

Our baby has a face, and we saw it do a little somersault! (probably because I'm still having dildocam sonograms and seriously, talk about disturbing the peace up in there for the little guy!) It has little flippers that will become arms and legs. Wild, right?

If you want to stop reading my blog, I understand. I have been there! And if you stick around, I promise I'll try to be as un-obnoxious as I can be. That said, let me annoy you with the joy in my life right now.

We told both sets of my grandparents last night, in person. I surprised them because no one knew I was in town after the doctor's appointment (no one even knew I had an appt except my parents). Everyone was wildly excited, there were tears and hugs and phone calls to aunts and uncles. It was everything I have always hoped it would be.

Think about my grandma, who had my dad and his twin sister at age 19 (then three more kids). She remembers the day my dad came over with a case of beer and said "We're having a baby!", who is now, 25 years later, coming over with that baby to say "I'm gonna be a grandpa!" I can't imagine living such a long and fulfilling life.

I'm public with the pregnancy now. I won't go on facebook till 12 or 13 weeks, but I've told my boss and all of my close friends and family. I know many people disagree with me on this decision - I, too, would have disagreed six months ago. I was judgmental about people who told at 6, 7, 8, 9 weeks. What can I say? I'd already kept this a secret for four weeks and I wanted to start enjoying it.

Negative outcomes are not possible in my mind right now. This will be a happy and healthy pregnancy. The anxiety I was experiencing last week was unbearable and, in the end, probably bad for the baby. I would rather be completely caught off guard by a loss than holding my breath for the next several months, regardless.

This will work out. I am 25, healthy, and have a beautifully shaped uterus. This baby's genetic material was hand-picked by experts from 17 eggs and millions of sperm. I'm done worrying.

Don't give up. Infertility is hell and you have to keep going. You will get there. I thought I would never see two lines, and I did. I never even let myself imagine the sound of a heartbeat. I heard it yesterday.

This can work for you, too.

I'm so happy.


TurtleMama said...

Wow - what a terrific post! I'm so happy for you and am impressed by your positive outlook. That is a great stance to take and I hope that I can adopt your attitude after by 8 week ultrasound. Enjoy your worry-free pregnancy.

Ruth said...

It's amazing how quickly a tiny baby's body develops isn't it?? Hooray for telling your grandparents and going public! I love your positive thinking!

Chickenpig said...

Why wait? :) Once you see a heartbeat, chances of something going wrong are very, very slim. Enjoy your pregnancy! You deserve it.

Still A Guest Room said...

I am so incredibly happy for you!!! I'm glad you are telling people and enjoying this amazing time.

MaryMargaret said...

I absolutely adore your outlook. Hopefully I will be as positive after my transfer. Congratulations again, mama!

Alex said...

Good for you - I love your attitude! I'm so impressed that you're consciously taking on such a positive attitude - way to go, mama! Enjoy going public - it's so fun!

mag said...

This post totally made me tear up. I am so happy for you!!! I can't wait to hear how you're doing over the coming months. Please keep updates coming!!

Stacy said...

YAY! good for you! You deserve to be happy : )

Amanda said...

Congratulations! I hope one day I too will have your positive outlook and attitude. I hope your happiness continues to grow and bloom!

Lauren said...

First time reader of your blog and just reading your positivity makes me feel positive. I am 6w2d after an IUI, and I've been wavering in between fear/anxiety, and being happy. I really, really appreciate your perspective, including your perspective on telling people. It's so encouraging to me to get out of the anxiety funk and just enjoy where I'm at right now. Thanks for that : )