Our baby has a face, and we saw it do a little somersault! (probably because I'm still having dildocam sonograms and seriously, talk about disturbing the peace up in there for the little guy!) It has little flippers that will become arms and legs. Wild, right?
If you want to stop reading my blog, I understand. I have been there! And if you stick around, I promise I'll try to be as un-obnoxious as I can be. That said, let me annoy you with the joy in my life right now.
We told both sets of my grandparents last night, in person. I surprised them because no one knew I was in town after the doctor's appointment (no one even knew I had an appt except my parents). Everyone was wildly excited, there were tears and hugs and phone calls to aunts and uncles. It was everything I have always hoped it would be.
Think about my grandma, who had my dad and his twin sister at age 19 (then three more kids). She remembers the day my dad came over with a case of beer and said "We're having a baby!", who is now, 25 years later, coming over with that baby to say "I'm gonna be a grandpa!" I can't imagine living such a long and fulfilling life.
I'm public with the pregnancy now. I won't go on facebook till 12 or 13 weeks, but I've told my boss and all of my close friends and family. I know many people disagree with me on this decision - I, too, would have disagreed six months ago. I was judgmental about people who told at 6, 7, 8, 9 weeks. What can I say? I'd already kept this a secret for four weeks and I wanted to start enjoying it.
Negative outcomes are not possible in my mind right now. This will be a happy and healthy pregnancy. The anxiety I was experiencing last week was unbearable and, in the end, probably bad for the baby. I would rather be completely caught off guard by a loss than holding my breath for the next several months, regardless.
This will work out. I am 25, healthy, and have a beautifully shaped uterus. This baby's genetic material was hand-picked by experts from 17 eggs and millions of sperm. I'm done worrying.
Don't give up. Infertility is hell and you have to keep going. You will get there. I thought I would never see two lines, and I did. I never even let myself imagine the sound of a heartbeat. I heard it yesterday.
This can work for you, too.
I'm so happy.