Tuesday, July 19, 2011

The first time I had sex with my husband.

I remember the first time I had sex with my husband. It was in my first college apartment, on a twin bed, with pink and black polka-dotted curtains above us, to Lynyrd Skynyrd's "Free Bird". It might not sound like it, but it was super romantic. That was five years ago.

Today, a nurse in a different state told me to have intercourse with my husband tonight. The funny part is it didn't seem odd to me at all to have a doctor's office ordering me to have sex.

The part that bothered me the most is that I don't want sex tonight. My abdomen hurts. I want everyone to leave me alone, and all through my very shitty 10 hour work day with no lunch break, I dreamed of coming home and putting on my PJs. Intimacy is a giant chore today.

So tonight I called my husband and politely requested that he masturbate before I get home so I didn't have to deal with it.

How did that young naive college couple making love on a twin bed get to this place?


Dead Cow Girl said...


Just sayin'. I think they need to prescribe these during IVF. Our RE said we should do it several times during stims to make sure The Guys where up to snuff come D-day.

And yeah, after a couple weeks of Lupron, bloated, weepy and gassy... with Giant Ovaries... having the sex is NOT what I wanna do.

Sorry guys.

Emily said...

Yes, yes, yes. It becomes a chore, doesn't it? There were times I almost resented my husband when he was on top of me, because I just didn't want to.

Hugs to you.

Lulu said...

The best part was me, ex-Catholic prude that I am, trying to find a way to say that well, we haven't had intercourse since Sunday but that doesn't...necessarily mean...that he hasn't...you know...since then.

Roccie said...

Keeping your knees up by your ears all these years kills the joy.

OMG DCG to the rescue.

Alex said...

So sad, funny, and true... Hang in there! And good job to the hubby for politely agreeing...

Jem said...

Thank you, IF, for ruining the sex life of many, many, many couples.

Jem said...

Dead Cow Girl: where did you find that video! It should have come with a "not fit for work" warning!

My eyes got super-big!!!! Ha!!!!!

Chickenpig said...

My clinic always told us NOT to have sex, but that my husband should use 'other means' to expel the sperm three days before egg retrieval. They didn't want him rupturing one of my ovaries I guess.;) When you're that bloated sex is the LAST thing on your mind. Isn't it ironic?