Tuesday, April 19, 2011

CD 1

Well hello there Aunt Flo. Thanks for showing up, and thanks for the completely unnecessary 18 day luteal phase. You always were a trickster.

After talking it over with A, I called Dr. Lovely’s this morning to request a third clomid/IUI cycle. The office had made it very clear that IUI #2 was my last cycle there before we go to the RE, because Dr. Lovely doesn’t want me on clomid any longer than necessary.

But A and I looked at the calendar, wondered what we were going to do with 5 weeks, and I fell back on one of my major rules of adulthood: “Just ask, the worst they can say is no.” And they said yes. I go in for baseline monitoring on Thursday.

I have two main feelings about IUI #3:

1. I’m scared. IUI #2 totally effed me up. It hurt a lot more when it failed than I thought it would and threw me for a loop more than I ever expected. I’m scared of getting the crazy clomid bitchiness. I’m scared of the hope and expectation. I’m scared of another 2ww. I’m scared that I’ll be extremely depressed again next month.

2. I think this will help ease us into seeing an RE. I’ve always read that if it’s going to work, it’ll work within three cycles. I was a little apprehensive going to the RE after only 2 IUIs; if he had wanted to go straight to IVF, I would have always wondered if the third IUI would have been the charm. Now, I won’t have to wonder.

So there it is. Let IUI #3 begin.

4 comments:

Rain Child said...

I remember going into my 3rd iui full of hope and fear. I am so sorry that your iui #2 didn't work out. In retrospect, I wish we'd seen an RE much sooner than we did.

Good luck with this cycle and hopefully you won't have to go to the RE.

Drevas said...

Glad to hear that you are moving foward with IUI #3... hoping for the best! And if not, good to know that you won't be faced with any "what ifs" before moving to IVF if that's what your RE suggests.

Thinking of you! :)

Alex said...

I love the rule: Just ask, the worst they can say is no. First, sorry for AF - that sucks. But I think that IUI #3 is a good idea to do, if only it will give you a little more closure. But of course it's scary. I hope that the third time's a charm!!! And we'll be here with you throughout...

Articia said...

I think it's worth the try certainly. I have 2 days left in my 2ww with this 3rd cycle. This is the most nervous I've been b/c we're nearing the end of the road before we have to upgrade to IVF :\ i wish I could tell you this cycle will be easier for you than the last but all I can say is that you (and me) will persevere, no matter what...