Sunday, February 13, 2011

Paranoid

Tomorrow I have lunch with my friend, J, whom I have written about before. J and I used to be BFF, but then she started TTC and everything fell apart.

I have a horrible feeling that she's going to tell me she's pregnant. This is the first time we've done anything alone in months. They've been trying since last fall. The timing is just too right.

I wish she would tell me over the phone, or in some way where I could fake it and then have some privacy to cry. If she tells me in person I won't be able to hide my resentment and heartache.

Maybe I'm making it all up in my head.

5 comments:

Denver Laura said...

Worst case, she's pregnant. You're still meeting with her, so it might help to practice what you would say to her. Will this ruin your relationship any more than her TTC has already?

What type of relationship do you want to have with her? On going hearing every detail of her pregnancy, or just sending along a nice card for her baby shower with an excuse to not attend?

Best case is that she misses your relationship and wants to stay in touch even after becomiong somewhat distant.

If the tables were turned, wouldn't you want to tell your friend in person you were pregnant instead of through email? Hoe wwould you want/expect her to react?

I'll be thinking of you tomorrow. Good luck!

runnyyolk said...

Ugh, I'm so sorry you have to deal with this stress--I totally get it. I wouldn't want to hear in person either. Sending you hugs and I'll be thinking of you. Let us know how it goes!

Still A Guest Room said...

I really hope she doesn't tell you that in person...that's just too much. Thinking of you tomorrow.

Marissa said...

Denver Laura, I personally would tell an infertile friend of mine that I was pregnant over email, so she could scream, cry, whatever all in private, without worrying about hurting my feelings. Some very good friends (and family members) of mine have announced their pregnancies publicly and it is very hard to handle. As much as I love them and am happy that they're happy, it's a kick in the gut. It sucks to hear that news *and* have to be concerned with keeping up appearances. I want to have my hissy fit in private and then, when I see them in person, be kind and gracious.

Lulu, I hope this isn't what she has to say. But I too live in fear whenever something like this comes up.

I hope, no matter what happens, you have a good, honest conversation together.

Drevas said...

Best of luck tomorrow. I ALWAYS have this fear whenever a friend want to get together. Hopefully she just wants to catch up, but if not, I know you will do your best to handle the news well as possible. We will all be here for you no matter what! :)