Friday, February 4, 2011

A break.

As you know, we’re with Dr. Lovely until my RE consult in three and a half months, and we only get one more IUI in that time. Thus the scheduling of the lap (two weeks from yesterday) and the forced break, at least until after vacation in March.

I have been trying to decide what “taking a break” really means.

If it all went A’s way, we would take a complete break from all things infertility until we start our next cycle. That means no endless discussions of it, no infertility-related breakdowns, no blogging. But who are we kidding? I know A has a point when he says I’m too absorbed in reading other people’s stories and that maybe making a twitter account to match my blog (@luluslaments – shameless plug!) was a bit much. He wants me to get interested in other things like I used to be.

I know he’s right, but at the same time, your blogs remind me that I’m not alone. That I’m not unique. That I’m not as isolated as I feel. Writing here is the only time I can get it all off my chest to people who really know what I’m talking about.

Plus, I can’t take a total infertility break when I still have to take four stupid metformin pills a day and worry about the idea that someone is going to be giving me an enema in two weeks (yuck!). I can’t take a complete break when I keep wondering what Dr. Lovely will discover in surgery. And I can’t take a complete break when there are still pregnant people in the world, and one of them works with me.

So, in an effort to honor A’s wishes (because he really does have my best interests at heart), here are some plans for our break.
1.      Drink. Of all the consolation prizes to not being pregnant and not being in the 2ww, this is by far my favorite.
2.      Work out. I love my new gym – last week I went to four Zumba classes! High-impact aerobics is something I tend to avoid during the 2ww and will probably avoid during pregnancy. I’ll have to take a week off after my lap, but I can pick right back up.
3.      Live it up on our cruise. Horseback riding. Boat riding. Snorkeling. Drinking. Lots of pregnancy-unfriendly activities involved.
4.      Eat healthy. I can (and should) do this all the time, but I’ve been better about it lately and it really helps with my self-esteem.
5.      Dive into my hobbies. Once we have a family, I won’t get to spend all day Sunday lying on the couch reading a book. I won’t get to take and teach yoga as much as I do. So I need to enjoy it while I can.
6.      Relish sleeping in. I have always loved sleeping in. I don’t sleep too late anymore, but I love the chance to wake up without an alarm a couple times a week. I know this is all shot once we have a baby.
7.      Slow down on the blogs. Maybe I shouldn’t be so obsessed with the blogs. Maybe I need to unsubscribe to a few so I just keep it down to the essentials. This will be hard, but probably good for me.
8.      Continue my facebook boycott. I did have A log me onto facebook twice while we were snowed in during the blizzard. I’ll definitely get on after our vacation to post photos. But I have found I don’t miss facebook and I don’t miss the constant compulsion to check it. I have lots more time to do other things now that I’m not constantly reading everyone’s updates.
9.      De-medicate. I still have my 2000mg of Metformin, and maybe the occasional prenatal vitamin (do you guys still take these when you’re not cycling?), but no clomid, no progesterone, no ovidrel. Not to mention no dildocam appointments for a while. It’ll be nice.
10.   Relax. Because we all know I’ll get pregnant if I just relax, right? : )

What’s your favorite thing to do while you’re on a break?


Drevas said...

First of all – please don’t go anywhere! I love your blog and you! :) (Sorry A…)

Second – your plans for your break sound AWESOME. We are also on a break right now and you have motivated me to make my own list of plans. Most of my time right now is spent thinking about how much time I have before we can start IVF. I need to start enjoying life and making goals to be healthier and happier.

Thank you for sharing… I needed to read this today!

PS – Wow, the cruise is right around the corner… you must be getting so excited! I’m VERY jealous! :)

runnyyolk said...

Sometimes I think too that the blogs keep too much in the infertile mindset, but then I realize, I'm going to be in it anyways (who are we kidding?) and at least here, I get the love and support of my fellow infertiles. In the end, I think it's a positive thing.

And those are all really good things to enjoy while you still can!

Alex said...

Drink, drink and more drink! :) kinda kidding, I'm not really an alcoholic... I'm glad you're focusing on some great things during this break, it's so important to keep your head on straight. I also wonder if sometimes the blogging world helps or hurts my obsessiveness, but the support I get and the therapy I get makes it all worth it. Enjoy this time off!

junebug said...

I travel on my breaks. Cruises are awesome and a great break activity!

I noticed when I was getting too engulfed in IF blogs that I spread my blog love to other topics that I was interested in. I found some great yoga-centric blogs, artistic blogs, etc. and I have been finding a renewed love for blogging. It has helped me to remember there is more to me and my life then IF.

I am, also, trying to cut back on fb. I have liberally used the hide feature so I can do a quick look at the few friends who I enjoy reading and be off.

Can I just say how impressed how fast you bounced back from your lap? Dang! I took forever. I think partly because the meds made me so ill but still I had hoped for a quick rebound like yours. I even worked out twice as hard the two weeks before hoping it would help my recover. I'm in awe.

Roccie said...

You will lose your ever cracking mind if you cut down on blogs. I tried. Dont do it. Whatever, it surely must be a temporary obsession?

Once we are big and fat with Take Home Babies, we will slip away into the sunset...

missohkay said...

My husband recommended that I find some hobbies after my miscarriages - unfortunately for him, my new hobbies are twitter and blogging! :) Have fun on your break and enjoy the cruise!!!