Wednesday, February 9, 2011

the drugs: I need them.


Let’s review my cycles for the past year, shall we?

January – April 2009 – no ovulation, no period
April – period induced by Provera
May – period induced by Provera
June, July, August – Metformin fails to regulate my cycles; no ovulation, no period
August – period induced by Provera
September – clomid
October – clomid
November – BCP
December – clomid

So I think it’s fair to say that this is my first unmedicated cycle in a LONG time.

I HATE it.

I have bizarre symptoms at every turn. The past three days my nipples have been sore. So sore that when A tried to touch me I yelped. This is remarkable because the only time I’ve experienced breast tenderness was from Provera. I’ve never felt anything in my nips from clomid, ovidrel, or progesterone, and it’s not a PMS symptom for me either.

Sunday I had weird AF-like cramps. I also succumbed to an irrational yet pure, unadulterated rage. I hated everything and everyone and the only thing that assuaged my anger was clips on animalplanet.com of the puppy bowl.

On Monday I was SO HUNGRY all day long. I was like that Big Bertha game that used to be at the skating rinks and such. Remember her? Feed me! Feed me! There’snochocolateinthishouseOMGWHATAMIGOINGTODO? *panting*

It’s wonderful how I don’t get symptoms when I’m in a treatment cycle. I don’t get the clomid crazies like I hear about – the worst I get is some weepy hormonal surges around ovulation time. I don’t notice much side effects from any drugs, really, not once I got over the initial month of the metformin.

And yet, when I take a break from the drugs, my body goes haywire.

Someone please medicate me soon!

3 comments:

runnyyolk said...

So far no one has put me on drugs, but I'm always scared they're going to because of all this stuff. Sorry you're dealing with uncooperative cycles :(

Still A Guest Room said...

Sorry about all the icky symptoms!

Marissa said...

I sometimes think of my body as one big test tube. Insert this hormone, and weird dreams result! Insert that, grumpiness! Insert nothing, shake, and watch the sparkles float around.

Whatever, biochemestry or whatever it is, it's so WEIRD. Hard to be a person when so much is really truly hormones!