contract drawn up in the kitchen tonight while preparing dinner, regarding future babies who may or may not be conceived per this union:
a) future babies will not be sent to any form of church/sunday school*
b) future babies will not be baptized until they’re old enough to decide if they want to be baptized.
c) future babies’ circumcisions will be ultimately decided by Daddy Lulu, but that doesn’t mean Mommy Lulu doesn’t get to give her opinion multiple times.
d) future babies will watch TV and eat candy, in moderation. we will not be “those parents” or “those parents”.
e) future babies in utero are not subject to abortion for any sort of birth defect or developmental disability, if the option arises.
f) if there are two future babies at a time and they are twins, we will not be conned into making the nursery a Noah’s ark “two by two” theme.
g) if there are two future babies at a time and they are twins, we can dress them in the same clothes, but they must be different colors otherwise we’re afraid we won’t be able to tell them apart.
*send me hate mail if you want.
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