Friday, September 17, 2010

my stupid mouth

Every since I posted about gut feelings I have been feeling like a huge moron. How DUMB do I have to be to tempt fate that way?
Even though I was truly feeling all of those positive things at the time, the moment I immortalized them in writing I realized that doing so was just making the moment two months, six months, a year from now when we’re still not pregnant even more painful. Now, if we end up needing IUI or IVF, we not only need ART, but we need ART and I was na├»ve enough to think we wouldn’t.
Hindsight has that painful tinge to it when you had no idea how bad things were going to be. The sweetly romantic month we spent thinking that my cycle would be like normal when I first went off the pill …I look at those versions of us and see silly little children who have yet to grow up and learn what the world is about. I truly hope I won’t think that about the current version of me.
Come on clomid, please work. I’m counting on you.

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