Monday, April 30, 2012

35 weeks - bitching and moaning

Pregnancy is getting kind of hard. I think I have hit a wall.

The toughest part is the ambiguity of how much longer it will last. I will be full term on May 15, but my doctor will let me go as long as 2 weeks over my due date. So I could have this baby as early as two weeks from now, or I could be pregnant for seven more weeks. Pardon me, but FUCK.

The thing is, I just want him here. I want to hold him, get to know him, start caring for him. I am already not sleeping because I’m so uncomfortable. I’d rather be not sleeping because I’m taking care of my son.

I have handed off all of my work. Tonight is my last shower. By next Monday, the house will be completely ready for him. And that is when the clock will start ticking very, very loudly.

I haven’t packed my hospital bag, and I probably won’t for a while. If I go until my due date or past it, I will be annoyed seeing that bag sit there getting dusty – it’ll be a symbol of how READY I am. If I go early, it will likely be scheduled, so I’ll have a chance to pack.

I know someday I’ll regret wishing away the last weeks of my pregnancy. I don’t mean to sound ungrateful. I’m just ready to hold him in my arms.


TurtleMama said...

It's so hard not to know exactly when your little one is going to make his arrival. Maybe a good strategy would be to expect to go over and you will most likely be pleasantly surprised when he comes a little early. My sister's baby was breech and she came a week or 2 early :)

Alex said...

Ugh - these last few weeks are torture, they really are! My only advice is to try to find ways to distract yourself - movies, shopping, restaurants. Whatever you can do to make time go by quickly!!!

So excited for you - he's almost here!

Emskyrooney said...

Good luck- spend lots of time doing things you won't be able to do as easily with a baby! Oh and I definitely recommend packing your bag- at least mostly. I didn't pack ahead and ended up going to the hospital straight from work. Had to send hubby home with a list of things to bring me, all of which were the wrong things. (i.e. I asked for sneakers to wear home and he brought me snow boots!)...