Surprise IFers

For a year and a half I have been teaching private yoga lessons to a group of five women in my town. They are close friends, and spending so much time with them has allowed me to feel like part of their circle, in a small way. I have gradually opened up about my fertility issues with them, as I felt it was best to be honest when cancelling class due to my lap, etc.

One woman has five children, three and then a set of twins. For the first year that I knew her, I felt a little uncomfortable talking to her about my struggles to conceive, as she was obviously a fertile myrtle.

Then, in December when I had my HSG, she mentioned she had to have one, too. I guess they tried for a while for their first and the HSG cleared out some debris in her tubes. I was pretty surprised when I found this out.

After my HSG, she was the one who alerted me to the difference between a bicornuate and septate uterus, who told me that her daughter had multiple miscarriages because of a septum.

Then, a few months ago, she told me that her daughter had an ectopic pregnancy and had lost a whole tube and ovary. My heart broke for her.

I hadn’t heard an update on the daughter lately, so last night I asked how she was doing. She told me, and then asked how we were doing. I said good, that we were looking forward to going to see an RE in a few weeks and told her what city he’s in.

She immediately got excited, and I assumed she was going to tell me a success story of one of her friends (I have heard SO MANY of these about this RE, and I’m so excited to join the ranks).

At this point, she took me aside and said “No one knows this, but we went to him.” I guess they had their first three kids easily, and then suffered “miscarriage after miscarriage” for seven years trying for a fourth. They wanted to expand their family so badly. At the age of 41, they decided what the hell, they’d try a round of IVF.

She got pregnant with her twins through IVF at 41! And here I was writing her off as a smug fertile! I also assumed that, as a Catholic, she condemned IVF and would judge me if I did it.

You really never know about people.

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Three weeks from today we get to meet the man who WILL get us pregnant. It can’t get here quickly enough.