There’s nothing to be nervous about, it’s just…what I do best. I’m awesome at being nervous and at worrying endlessly over things out of my control.
I list this skill on my resume, right up there with “possesses double-jointed thumbs” and “drinks margaritas with astounding swiftness”.
I guess I’m anxious because I don’t know what to expect. This doctor has been built up to me to the point that he sounds more like a god than a man. I have been told he calls patients on his cell phone to check on them. That he doesn’t seem like a doctor at all because he’s so down-to-earth. I know many people who have twins thanks to this man.
What if he doesn’t live up to these (admittedly high) expectations?
What if I drive three and a half hours one way and I’m disappointed?
What if I leave thinking “we should have just done this over the phone”? And I’m grouchy and I fight with my husband all the way home?
I guess we’ll just have to wait one more week and find out.
In other news, I have definitely been living it up during this break from treatments. Those of you who follow me on twitter know that I have been quite the party animal lately.
Two weeks ago, I met some friends for what I thought was going to be dinner. We ended up closing down the restaurant and then going downtown and dancing all night. I felt like such a 19 year old when I snuck in my house at 2 am.
This past weekend, I went to a white trash bash and got totally trashed. It was a grand time.
My husband seems to understand that this is important, even though we haven’t discussed it. He seems to know that I need to get this partying out of my system so I can buckle down for a possible IVF cycle. Yesterday he went to the store to get me ice cold Gatorade to help my hangover. He woke up with me in the middle of the night when I thought I was going to puke. He deserves an award.
Booze, Zumba, sex for fun…as much as I’m anticipating starting whatever kind of cycle this RE is going to recommend, I have to say that the break has been very nice.