Tiny baby, scared mommy

1. After reading your responses to my kick count post, I called last week to ask if I actually had to do them. Can’t I just pay attention to the baby’s movements throughout the day, and notice if he’s less active than normal? They said that was fine. I threw away the chart.
2. The anxiety did not go away. The past few nights I have lost sleep, convinced something was wrong with the baby. I told myself I was just crazy, but this morning I finally gave in and called. The nurse said that a bad gut feeling on mom’s part was enough reason to see me.
3. I requested a vaginal exam because I thought I was getting a yeast infection (I was correct). While she was examining me, she noticed my vaginal septum (remember the weird vagina?). She said “We’ll have to watch this during delivery – it will probably tear.” Ouch!
4. Then she measured me and said I had grown a bit in the past week, but not as much as she would have liked. She meant to say we better go ahead and schedule an ultrasound to check the baby’s growth, but she slipped up and said “Let’s go ahead and schedule you a c-section”, and I almost pissed my pants right there. That’s a big mistake to make! ULTRASOUND, you mean, doctor!
5. I asked what some reasons were that a baby would measure small. She basically dodged the question, saying there’s “small” and “alarmingly small” and they just need to find out which one the baby is. She also said sometimes IVF babies are just little.
6. So, I go tomorrow at 2:15 to see just how small this little man is. I also go back on Friday for my last cervical length check and to see the doctor again (she must miss me if we go more than a few days without seeing each other).
7. Please keep me in your thoughts. I am nervous about tomorrow.