Pregnancy is
getting kind of hard. I think I have hit a wall.
The toughest
part is the ambiguity of how much longer it will last. I will be full term on
May 15, but my doctor will let me go as long as 2 weeks over my due date. So I
could have this baby as early as two weeks from now, or I could be pregnant for
seven more weeks. Pardon me, but FUCK.
The
thing is, I just want him here. I want to hold him, get to know him, start
caring for him. I am already not sleeping because I’m so uncomfortable. I’d
rather be not sleeping because I’m taking care of my son.
I
have handed off all of my work. Tonight is my last shower. By next Monday, the
house will be completely ready for him. And that is when the clock will start
ticking very, very loudly.
I
haven’t packed my hospital bag, and I probably won’t for a while. If I go until
my due date or past it, I will be annoyed seeing that bag sit there getting
dusty – it’ll be a symbol of how READY I am. If I go early, it will likely be
scheduled, so I’ll have a chance to pack.
I
know someday I’ll regret wishing away the last weeks of my pregnancy. I don’t
mean to sound ungrateful. I’m just ready to hold him in my arms.
3 comments:
It's so hard not to know exactly when your little one is going to make his arrival. Maybe a good strategy would be to expect to go over and you will most likely be pleasantly surprised when he comes a little early. My sister's baby was breech and she came a week or 2 early :)
Ugh - these last few weeks are torture, they really are! My only advice is to try to find ways to distract yourself - movies, shopping, restaurants. Whatever you can do to make time go by quickly!!!
So excited for you - he's almost here!
Good luck- spend lots of time doing things you won't be able to do as easily with a baby! Oh and I definitely recommend packing your bag- at least mostly. I didn't pack ahead and ended up going to the hospital straight from work. Had to send hubby home with a list of things to bring me, all of which were the wrong things. (i.e. I asked for sneakers to wear home and he brought me snow boots!)...
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