1. Breastfeeding is a challenge. As soon as I think I have it figured out, something changes. I'm still waiting for it to get easy.
2. Some nights, little man will fall asleep nursing, I'll put him in his bassinet, and he'll sleep for 2ish hours. Other nights, he wants nothing to do with the bassinet and will only sleep in my arms, and then he'll sleep for 4ish hours. What gives? I'm not really all that comfortable with co-sleeping in that way, and I don't get good rest when he's in my bed. Some nights maybe he just needs mommy more than others?
3. I would be just about completely healed from my c-section by now, except that, like an idiot, I decided to get the stroller out and go for a walk Saturday morning. Carrying the heavy ass stroller up our porch steps totally effed up the right side of my abdomen, which is now very swollen, and I have bruises all over. I'm a bit afraid of what my gyno will say at my postpartum checkup today.
4. I can't believe my little man is 2 weeks old today. His cord fell off last night. I feel like he has already started changing so much! He goes to the ped tomorrow and will hopefully be back at his birth weight. If not, I'm afraid they will give me a speech about supplementing formula, which I am not at all interested in doing. (AT. ALL.)
5. We got the ergo out and played with it this morning. Once it cools off tonight I hope to go for another walk with that instead of the stroller.
6. I think someone is going to have to literally push me out the door to get me to leave the house. I have been pumping and have plenty now to leave him with my husband for a few hours. But I'm afraid to go.
7. Pumping mystifies me. I have worked up to 3x a day (4x on a good day) and I consistently get about 1.5-2 ounces a day. I'm happy with that. But it's completely unpredictable when I'll get a good amount and when I'll be eeking it out drop by drop.
8. I have watched more tv in the past week than the rest of my life put together. Right now I'm enjoying the show New Girl.
9. I am much better, emotionally, than I have been. The first few days home from the hospital were really, really rough. Everything felt so raw. Sometimes I could hardly look at him because his little face just broke my heart. Things feel better now.
10. The hardest part, by far, of parenting (for me) is learning to silence the voices around you and listen to your gut about what is right for your child. It's difficult when you're new at this and everyone you go to for advice (La Leche League, the pediatrician, the Lactation Consultant, your friends, the internet) contradicts one another. I have stopped going to people for advice for a while and I'm just trying to make my own decisions (one mistake at a time).
11. Breastfeeding is a lot easier with a smart phone. I am reading all of your posts, but it's hard to comment one-handed, on a mobile device, at 3 am.
12. Sometimes I ache to be pregnant with him again. Sometimes I really miss having him all to myself. When he hiccups, I think about how they felt inside of me. But on the other hand, I spend far less time in the restroom and I can finally (!!!) sleep on my stomach again! When I miss being pregnant, I just tell myself I can get pregnant again, which I hope is true.
More later, for now, here's a photo of my sweet little boy.