Monday, May 21, 2012

Some observations - 6 days post partum

1. I don't think I got the tone right in the past few posts. There were a lot of hard things about the hospital stay, but mainly it was joyous. Seeing my husband hold his son for the first time. Watching my dad meet his first grandchild. Kissing Alexander's feet. I'm sorry I focused so much on the negative! Maybe I need to pick better times to write.

2. Here is how I feel about parenting for the first 6 days. It's like you won a billion dollars in the lottery. All of your dreams have come true! You feel ecstatic and on top of the world. Everyone is happy for you. The only catch is that you have to carry the one billion dollars, in cash, on you at all times, and let's just say that you live in the inner city, in a high crime area, and let's also say that you have to wear a sign that flashes neon that says "I have a billion dollars cash on my person." It's the most incredible feeling, but it also leaves you feeling very vulnerable. Or maybe that's just the hormones?

3. Speaking of hormones, we have now identified two separate entities: Lulu and "Mona", as in Hormonal Mona. I warn my husband when Mona is coming out. When this is the case, you can find me staring into the baby's face, weeping about the fact that he will eventually grow up and stop being so small. My heart hurts preemptively that he'll be a teenager some day and think I'm lame. When I am Mona, I am also just overwhelmed with joy and can cry for 15 minutes about his lips.

4. Becoming a mom is amazing. Equally great is watching your husband become a father. I've never seen so much tenderness in his face. I have fallen in love with him all over again. It helps that he is especially supportive and loving - just an incredible man to begin with.

5. Unfortunately, today my husband was diagnosed with diabetes. He's 32 years old. I have refused to google this and read all of the horrible things that go along with it. My heart hurts about it and I can't really face it with a 6 day old baby.

6. It occurs to me several times a day that my son is perfect. This may not exactly be a unique feeling among new parents, but it sure feels good.

7. Alex was born at 6 lb 4 oz, left the hospital on Saturday at 5 lb 7 oz, and today (Monday) is 5 lb 12 oz. Five ounces gained in two days! Yay breastfeeding.


Anonymous said...

Lulu you'e so funny! Love your observation about winning the lottery ad then feeling like you're carrying a billion dollars cash around a dodgy neighbourhood. I am so glad you're relishing it, and don't think you should feel guilty about pointing out some of the tougher bits of the journey so far... you won't do any of us any favours saying it's all a breeze! I'm so sorry about your husband's diagnosis. It's a blow for you both and am wishing all strength in dealing with it.

Alex said...

These are great observations! So glad to hear that things are going well. It's so true about having 2 different personalities right now. What a rollercoaster! I'm sorry to hear about the diabetes diagnosis. Stay away from google, just listen to the docs as you explore this new direction. This is a crazy time in your life, keep hanging on! :)

TurtleMama said...

That's an creative analogy! Precious cargo for sure.
Sounds like things are going well, except for DH's recent diagnosis. Is it Type 2 or Type 1? It's a hard hand to be dealt, but is totally manageable.

mare said...

Great way to explain the vulnerability one feels when bringing home a precious newborn. I can relate to that feeling entirely. Also... I can relate to the hormones. I was happy and cried, sad and cried, overwhelmed and cried, scared and cried, and also the one my husband really didn't get: i just looked at my baby and she (sniffed, clicked her tongue, grunted, peed, pooed, etc.) and i cried.

Way to go with the breastfeeding! Glad to hear it is going well so far.

Prayers for your hubby. xoxo.