5 week update

- We have thrush. I first recognized my symptoms - the shooting pain deep in my breast. Sure enough, a couple of days later I saw a tiny white spot in Alex's mouth. So tiny that the pediatrician at first denied that it was thrush, until I pressed him and he said it's a "teensy" bit of thrush that I caught "very early". Baby has a rx diaper cream and antibiotic drops. My OBGYN says to just put some of his drops on my nipples and we should both be clear soon.

- at 4 weeks, 6 days, Alex weighed 7lb 8oz!! When we brought him home he was 5lb 7oz. I can definitely tell he's getting bigger. His little arms and legs are getting chubbier and he's getting a double chin : ) at 7 lb he's technically supposed to be able to wear his BumGenius 4.0s, which I'm really excited to start using, but now that we're on the diaper rash cream I need to keep using the darn disposables. I can't believe many babies are this big (or even way bigger!) when they are born. He seems so grown up to me.

- I had my 5 week postpartum checkup today. It was a disaster. The appointment was at 11:30, and even though I had just fed the baby at 10, he had a complete meltdown right as they called me back. Just screaming himself purple! They took my blood pressure while I was trying to calm him down - I didn't even ask what it was. I asked if they could let someone go in front of me so I could nurse him, but I was the last patient before my OB's lunch break. So the nurses took him while she did my pelvic exam. Even though I know people understand, I felt like a terrible mother while he was screaming bloody murder. I wanted to tell everyone, "I JUST fed him! I promise!"

- I have lost 20 of the 40 pounds I gained during pregnancy. I know I should be happy about this, but I'm not. I still have 20 to go, and they're going to go a lot more slowly than the first 20. Mainly, I'm just tired of not having any clothes to wear. My maternity clothes are sagging off of me and my pre-pregnancy clothes are laughably tight. There are only so many public places you can go in yoga pants.

- We had the birth control discussion, which I knew we'd have. I have been agonizing over what to do. I do not need birth control for contraception - OBVIOUSLY. It would be nice to just let my cycle do what it wanted to do for a while and sit back and observe. But I knew that if I didn't go on BCP, I'd constantly be wondering if I might be miraculously pregnant. I can't take that kind of heartache. Plus, she said the minipill might help my acne and other PCOS symptoms, so I wouldn't argue with that, and I filled the rx.

- Alex continues to go down for his first sleep of the night (around 8:30-10:30) in his bassinet (last night in his crib!!), and then wake up and want to sleep with me the rest of the night. I still feel iffy about this. I hope I'll know when the time is right to start teaching him how to put himself to sleep. It seems like a very scary job.

- We are thinking about going away for a night in July for my birthday. 24 hours I would be away. I'm desperately hoping I can get enough milk pumped before then to make it work, but pumping is a struggle again. The first couple of days with the hospital pump worked wonders but now we're back to where we were. Yesterday I pumped 5x and got 3.3 ounces. The sad thing is that's a good day! I hate pumping. It's hard to do when the baby's fussy, and hard to do when he's happy because I want to be playing with him, not hooked up to some damn machine. It's a lot of time to get settled pumping and clean everything up to get a freaking teaspoon of milk!

- Baby keeps getting cuter and cuter. I love his soft little hands and feet and how they brush up against me when we nap together. He does this thing sometimes where he latches onto my nose. Like, really latches, and starts sucking on my nose. My sister got a photo of it yesterday, and that's what I'll leave you with.