My pregnancy is
winding down. I have fewer than 10 weeks left until the day my baby is due.
Realistically, he could be here in less than 7 weeks.
There have been
days that I’ve come home and cried because sometimes it’s hard to be pregnant.
The constipation is difficult, I’m starting to feel uncomfortable, and I have
other complaints I could mention if I wanted to.
But overall, I’ve
enjoyed being pregnant. I love feeling my baby move inside me. I love knowing
he’s always with me.
As I start
glimpsing the end of the road, I have started feeling a little panicky that I’ll
never be lucky enough to experience pregnancy again.
I want siblings for
my son. My husband and I are open to and have discussed adoption. He’s actually
very excited about the notion of adopting in the future. I would be too, except
for the fact that we can’t afford adoption, and we have 2 more retrievals
covered under our medical insurance. Our bank account dictates that if we are
to have a second child, IVF will be our method.
I wish I could take
baby number 2 (or even babies number 3, 4 and 5 if we wanted them) for granted.
But I’m infertile, and everything is harder for us.
If this is my only
pregnancy, I will be thankful that I even got to experience one. But I
desperately don’t want that to be the case.
--
We have a baby
shower this weekend. My family is so generous that I know we will be literally
showered with gifts. I’m excited to get more baby stuff set up in our house,
but mainly I’m excited that everyone’s excited about this baby.
It will be so nice
to be surrounded by people who already love this little person. He has been
prayed for, cried for, and anticipated for years, and he doesn’t even know it.
What a great way to
come into this world: enveloped in layers of unconditional love. He has not
only my love, but his father’s love, the love of four grandparents, six
great-grandparents, 2 aunts, an uncle, 20 great-aunts and-uncles (I may be
missing a couple of those), and countless cousins (first, second, third…).
He has done nothing
to earn, deserve, or ask for love, and yet it has already been sent to him in
abundance. It amazes me.
2 comments:
I completely relate to your feelings on baby #2. I'm so afraid that I have my one pregnancy opportunity - and that's it.
Enjoy your baby showers! I love your thoughts on how much your son is loved - already...
Have you looked into baby wearing yet? I have a ring sling and I just dont know what I would do without it.
Always here, just cannot peck out the validation words on my phone!
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